Are Today's Weddings and Marriages Ordained of God?

Marriage, in reference to God’s Word, does have a bit of 'unknown'  about it in relation to understanding the concept of what marriage is (God ‘ordained’ marriage) and how it's done.  What has God commanded we do vs what man does today in religious ritual?

We see in the garden of Eden that God put Adam to sleep and from his rib formed Eve. (Genesis 2).  Here we see God created a woman for Adam and gave her to him.  This is the first we see of any sort of union between man and woman. 
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It was a physical union for companionship and procreation. God said that a man will leave his family and cleave unto his wife.  (Genesis 2)  We are not instructed of a ceremony, vows or consummation so we must continue on in scripture to see what else is shown.

In Ezra 9 and 10 as well as Nehemiah 13 we see God punishing His people (believers) for the sin of marrying those who were not His people (unbelievers). God punished His people until they repented of their sinful marriages and put away the unbelieving spouses.  In this case we see that the marriage was not brought together by God; man used his free will and created his own marriage. This again shows it is not a spiritual union but instead physical; one that man chooses. To be clear the issue that God was angry was they were unbelievers united to His people.

King Soloman had 700 wives.  If we recall in the book of Genesis we see the singular being used in reference to 1 man and 1 woman, not man and many women, so unless God contradicts himself, God did not bring 700 wives to Solomon, Solomon by his own free will created his own marriage system of himself to them. It was not God ordained that way. 

In Genesis 38:8 we see that going into a woman ( two flesh made one ) is part of marrying her so consummation is part of the marriage but yet we see that Mary and Joseph had not consummated their marriage yet they were considered married via their vow to each other.  We see a covenant between the man and woman but we don’t know the exact details nor should we invent our own as man made religion does.  


So the answer of ‘what constitutes marriage’ from scripture we see no ceremonies, particular vows or special rituals but we see various instances of witnesses, covenant, consummation and free will decision. These are commitments between one man and one woman. What makes marriage special is that God ordained one man with one woman to procreate and be companions for life. That is what marriage was ll about and originally is was special for God's people.


In our society we often see marriage being lifted up by unbelievers in that God will be blessing them because He ‘ordained’ marriage and they are partaking of that special ordination.  Just because an unbeliever partakes of something God ordained does not grant them favor or blessings of God.  There are MANY ordinations of God and regardless of which ones unbelievers partake of, none will grant them any merit because they are not His and they instead belong to Satan as they are unbelievers.  The only way a man can gain merit or blessing in the eyes of God is through Jesus Christ and the cross. We know that it rains on both the righteous and the wicked (Matthew 5:45) but that has nothing to do with God being intricately involved in a person's life does it? Marriage is what God ordained between a man and a woman, period! We cannot read more into it lest we add to God's plan.

There are many verses that use versions of the word ordain and so, in reference to marriage, let’s see what those definitions are so we can gather together a concept where such circumstances would be considered ordinations of God and if marriage should be lifted above them.
For the sake of saving space, click here for a separate post on the biblical definitions of ordain.

Here is a summarization and just a few of the commonalities of the various meanings of ordain:
Appoint, give, have charge of, exercise, bring forth, to found,  to put, abide, establish, to rise, decree, to do, make, practice, commit, to place, cause to be, mark out or bound,  arrange in orderly manner, assign etc….

So we now see the general meaning (by no means exhaustive) of the word ordain(ed) according to God’s Word.  The full context of ordain (and similar words) show that God has started, created, invented, set in motion, caused to be, arranged, established etc…..everything! To lift up marriage, or baptism, or the Lord’s supper over and far above all that God has decreed is to diminish the rest of what He ordained.

If we scour through the bible we will find many, many ordinations/institutions of God (here are just a few)

1.       The government (Romans 13:1)
2.      Obey the government (Romans 13:3-5)
3.      Preaching the gospel (Mark 16:15)
4.      Headcoverings for women (1 Corinthians 11)
5.      Wives submit to husbands (Ephesians 5)
6.      Husbands love wives (Ephesians 5)
7.      Husbands rule wives (Genesis 3:16)
8.      Long flowing dresses on women (1 Timothy 2)
9.      No adornment (1 Peter 3)
10.   Women silent in the body (1 Corinthians 14 and 1 Timothy 2)
11.    Men in authority of the body (1 Timothy 2)
12.   Children obey parents (Colossians 3:20)
13.   Parents teach children (Deuteronomy 6)
14.   No men lording over the body (Matthew 20:25-26)
15.   Lord’s Supper (1 Corinthians 11)
16.   Love God (Luke 10:27)
17.   Love one another (Luke 10:27)
18.   Carrying our cross (Luke 14:27)
19.   Be separate from the world (2 Corinthians 6:17)
20.  Man is to repent (Luke 13:3)
21.   Bear good fruit (Matthew 3:8)
22.  Man is to live by every Word of the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4)
23.  Do not tempt God (Matthew 4:7)
24.  Follow Jesus (Matthew 4:19)
25.  Let your light shine before men (Matthew 5:16)
26.  Make amends with your brother (Matthew 5:23-24)
27.  Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44)
28.  Be perfect (Matthew 5:48)
29.  Pray in private (Matthew 6)
30.  Let the dead bury the dead (Luke 9)
31.   Don’t forbid children the kingdom of God (Luke 18)
32.  Baptism (Acts 2)
33.  Be living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)
34.  Be kind to one another (Romans 12:10)
35.  Be of one mind (Romans 12:16)
36.  Avoid those who cause division contrary to doctrine (Romans 16:17)
37.  Let no man glory in men (1 Corinthians 3:21)
38.  Deliver sinful brother to satan (1 Corinthians 5)
39.  Don’t eat with a sinful brother (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
40. Unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
41.   Let every man abide wherein he was called (1 Corinthians 11)
42.  Every man have psalm, doctrine, hymn (1 Corinthians 14)
43.  Do not be yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14)
44. Every man give according to his heart (1 Corinthians 9)
45.  Walk in the spirit not in the flesh (Galatians 5:16)
46. God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7)
47.  Put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6)
48. Rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4)
49. Think on whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely (Philippians 4:8)
50.  Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
51.   Don’t quench the spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:19)
52.  Do the work of an evangelist (2 Timothy 4:5)
53.  Reject a heretic (Titus 3)
54.  Obey them that have rule over you (Hebrews 13:17)
55.  Do not err (James 1:16)
56.  Submit yourselves to God (James 4:7)
57.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord (James 4:10)
58.  Let your yay be yay, nay be nay (James 5:12)
59.  Confess sins one to another (James 5:16)
60. God ordains that man is not to sin (endless scripture verses)

As we see from the brief list above that not only was marriage ordained by God but much much more was. Man seems to lift marriage far about other ordained things but should it be so? Jesus said we live by all of Gods Word in Matt 4:4.


It is man has invented the wedding ceremony/ spiritual marriage, as we’re shown no clear explanations of what marriage truly is beyond a vow of a man mad a woman for life. We don’t see God doing a spiritual ceremony in the garden of Eden do we?  (Paul warns us to avoid traditions of man-Colossians 2:8) We do see that some type of man-made wedding was allowed by God as Jesus was at a wedding but we also know Jesus would not be a partaker of worldliness, drunkenness and carnality or else He would be a hypocrite as He was to be a perfect spotless lamb.  We also know that the Jewish people were following the commandments of God of the Old Testament so the wedding should have been glorifying to Him and not sinful and filled with pagan/heathen false practices.  We followers of Christ, today, are to live according to God’s Word so it stands that a biblical and godly marriage would comply to God’s Word in the New Testament ways and bring glory and honor to Him, not ones self or man made false traditions.

Careful consideration needs to be taken when partaking of pagan/heathen/ man made traditions and events including wedding ceremonies as they contain many ungodly/unbiblical activities of which believers are to be called out and separated from.  Let us not be deceived that just because they are using one of God’s ordinations that it makes it okay to compromise or use pragmatism in order to witness to others, instead we are to avoid such sinful things and be an example of godliness and call them 'out' from it. Lets leave marriage as SIMPLE as God made it amen?

In general, pagan/heathen / man made weddings are a mockery of God by either using a modern pastor to invoke God’s blessing (that he cannot do) OR they are taking what God ordained and are intentionally rejecting Him in it as they fill it with sinful actions which in itself is a blasphemy against God and the beautiful thing He created. Gay marriage is such a example. God ordained marriage but it was a man with a woman and so it must be. To alter it is sinful. 

An average American pagan/heathen / man made wedding consists of false spiritual ways, pride, glory to man, immodesty, idolatry, drunkenness, lewd and coarse jesting, boasting, gluttony, pagan rituals (see ** after this paragraph) secular/emotional/fleshly music etc…
(A question to ask yourself, does even one of these examples thus far, pass the Philippians 4:8 test?)

**Bridal bouquets originate from paganism in that they were various flowers and herbs to ward off bad spirits/luck and bad health as well as for fertility
**Tossing of the wedding bouquet is mysticism for luck
**The white dress is a sign of purity/virginity in the bible and many women today are not virgins when marrying which is a mockery, as well as the dress being immodest as another mockery against God’s Word.
**The bridesmaid (usually a miniature bride and or mini groom) sprinkles petals or leaves of the herbs around the people (down the walkway) to ward off evil spirits/bad luck and bad health as well as a tribute to the pagan goddess Venus
**Attendants dressing in a similar fashion is to confuse those who might want to put a curse on the bride and groom
**Veils at weddings were to hide the bride for luck-mysticism (now they sub them for tiaras or sparkly hair decorations) This is also a mockery of the modesty of a veil.
**Tossing of the garter is mysticism for luck
**Something old, new, borrowed, blue are all mystical traditions revolving around luck
**Throwing rice (nowdays is confetti or something else)  is a pagan symbol of good luck -mysticism
**Wedding rings are a pagan ritual  and are symbols of mysticism
**Wedding cakes today are a conglomeration of pagan fertility rituals
**Giving the bride away is a symbol of how women were traded for money
**Carrying the bride over the threshold is to trick evil spirits from not finding her new home
**Honeymoon-comes from the men hiding their women for a month (1 moon) and drinking mead to increase fertility
**The best man was used to hold the stolen woman and protect the groom from the brides family
**Bells are used by pagans to ring and scare away evil spirits
**The bride standing on the left of the groom is pagan in origin as the groom held her there to ward off those trying to get his wife.

As we dig deeply into the ‘innocent?’ subject of weddings we see a myriad of paganism, mystical symbolism and out right sinfulness/false ways making a mockery of something beautiful and simple that God has set in motion of one man and one woman uniting together for life.  As with many things we see that what God has created, man has perverted!

God’s people should not be partaking of such sinful/pagan activities and instead should be calling those people out from their sin and into Christ. 

God’s Word warns His people in 1 Thessalonians 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.
Abstain: to hold oneself off, that is, refrain: - abstain.
All: all, any, every, the whole: - all (manner of, means) alway (-s), any (one), X daily, + ever, every (one, way), as many as, + no (-thing), X throughly, whatsoever, whole, whosoever.
Appearance: a view, that is, form (literally or figuratively): - appearance, fashion, shape, sight.
Evil: hurtful, worthless, rotten, bad, evil, grievous, harm, lewd, malicious, wicked, mischief, degeneracy from original virtue etc.

The following verses are more admonishments to God’s people to avoid such activities.
Learn not the way of the heathen (Jeremiah 10:2)

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. (Ephesians 5:11)

There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
(Proverbs 16:25)

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. (Psalm 1:1)

So what we have to ask ourselves as Christians is, if we are to live our lives holy and pleasing to God in every way, including whatever we do as a marriage ceremony (if one chooses to do so) it should all point to God and not to man, and  if we would not practice both sinful and  pagan/heathen activities in our own lives or marriage ceremony (if we had one), why would we partake of and approve of an unbelievers wedding if it had such things in it?  How does this show the world that God’s people are called out and separate unto Him?  How does this show the world God’s truth?  How does this honor our God when in fact it is honoring man? How does this show God’s true design for man?

Look at the man made vow ...until to death do you part. It too shows the marriage ends at death and God's Word clearly teaches that. But yet religious people all say they will spend eternity with their spouses and this is a lie before God. 

Believers need to toss out all preconceived notions and past traditions that we have been taught (holidays, weddings, funerals, rituals and traditions, ideas etc) because as we grow in discernment, we see that much we have learned from man is just that, from man and not the truth of God. It is the pagan roman catholic system that has passed on many of these false ritual ways of weddings into evangelicalism of today. Keep in mind weddings ( like funerals ) are also a HUGE money making scheme for most cultures today as well. 

What should constitute a biblical marriage for then? 

As we've gone through the analysis of marriage (believers and unbelievers as well as what the scriptures say vs what the pagans do) all we see in scripture is that a man and woman commit themselves to one another, for life. The government and their paperwork does not declare vows made , godly marriages or commitments do they?  Certainly a couple could commit to one another before their body of believers (true born again believers as themselves) and if they wanted to have a meal and gathering as long as it was honoring to God, that could be a glorious celebration!  No new clothes needed, no fancy expensive foods or special places to do it, no pomp and circumstance, just simple commitment and the glory will go to God! 

​We need to be clear here. Marriage is not a spiritual union, it's a physical union and here is why? 
Because Jesus said there will be no marriage in heaven.  (Matthew 22:30)

While both partners being born again Christians will indeed enhance the marriage in many ways and make it stronger, it does NOT make the union of marriage a spiritual one at all. Again the ordaining of marriage was for children, the family unit and companionship for life, NOT for ones connection to God or greater spirituality. You can look hard but you will not find verses that teach marriage is spiritual or eternal. Jesus said the two will be one flesh. That was God's design....
Paul said he hoped all were single/unmarried like him. 1 Cor 7 so he did not think marriage was THE highest good did he?

This does NOT take away from marriage at all but it also does NOT make marriage a spiritual union as man made religion will teach you via their many false ways. Marriage was and is flesh/physical thing as we all follow Christ on our own and will stand before God on our own, via the faith/obedience we do or do not have in Him. ( indeed a godly husband or wife can aid one in that walk but it is your walk alone to take, not theirs to take for or with you in the end) 

One point:
False cults like the Roman Catholic faith have perverted God's design to the point they control marriages and even sell divorces/annulments for gain. Mormons have lifted marriage to eternal places and they teach husbands save wives and men will have many wives in eternity making spirit babies. This is the sad fruit and what happens when you leave God's Word.  

Keep in mind:
Marriage is also a beautiful earthly example in this life of the bride of Christ ( believers ) and Him (our groom) and that eternal marriage to come. This also shows more evidence that marriage is earthly and of the flesh, but it is NOT spiritual or eternal.

In closing, a committed couple may want to seek the documentation from the government in order that they might partake of the legalities of the land. (Insurance, personal rights if one is injured and can make decisions for them, ownership of assets in death etc.) If it is not sinful to do so that is something we are called to do, obey mans laws when they do not cause us to sin. 

Please do not be deceived by the many man made false ways of the day about marriage and including weddings. Knowing the truth vs the lies is one of the MANY freedoms in Christ.  Being set free from the world and it's man made (sinful) rituals like weddings and its ceremonies made of man!