Tearing Down Your Own House

Recently we had a woman call us and we were glad we had the chance to speak some of God's truth into her life and she thankfully received it and acknowledged some of the areas we offered up, that may help her. We felt it was wise to share those areas with our readers via a teaching article as we all have many issues and mine fields to walk through as we serve Christ. 

The title of this is article Tearing Down Your House and is intended for couples that are both believers as those married to unbelievers may have varied situations that may not apply. Much of it does still apply to marriages with unbelievers in it though.

We chose that title as this destructive issue is what we see in others who contact us. In their zeal to be with or search for other like minded Christians, they end up harming their own faith and homes in the end. Let me explain using God's Word.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
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There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12

The bible says it is wisdom if we build up our homes but foolishness to harm them. As fallen humans we often choose to go and do our own way vs God's Will and Ways.  Please know that this article is for both men and women but we must admit, it is most often we see the issue of homes being harmed through women who are acting out counter to God's Word. How could a woman harm her faith and home and be acting out against the order of that home? 

Some points to consider....

First, we must note that all believers are called to serve God first above all other people.  ( Acts 5:29 ) It is obedience to His Word and Ways that is THE highest calling any of us can have.   

Second, since the man is the head of the home and the spiritual leader of it  and his wife his wife (1 Corinthians 11) she must always act in a way that honors him as that head. 

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4  

Third, with the advent of the internet it has made it MUCH easier for false teachers of the day to creep their ways into peoples lives via video and on line teaching. You must be on guard for this at all times and we suggest just staying in the Word alone and stop listening to TV and internet preachers who have clear unbiblical ways. Our 10 point bible test exposes them quickly, go HERE.

The issues we see can be many but they seem to be centered on two basic main areas of great concern:

1) Disobedience to the Word of God in the home.

*Often we see women NOT obeying the Word by going outside of their homes and around their husbands to contact and try to unite with various religious bodies for fellowship and teaching when the man is not involved at all. Even if he says she can do this it really serves to tear down the home and harm her faith in the following ways. If she is not trained up, discerning or even keeping all of God's Ways herself yet she is on the internet, phone or via church attendance trying to unite with others, the result is she is a easy target for those false teachers who will deceive weak willed ladies (2 Timothy 3) in their homes. We see ladies trying this place, then that one and this one and in the end their faith and theology is confused (in error) when they should have kept their feet at home all along. 

If the issue is that you feel you must be part of a body or go to church (don't forsake the gathering ) to please God, you are in great error. You are already in Christ's body if you're born again and going to church is NOT commanded by God; but by man. 

This verse seems to shine some light for us:

She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.
Proverbs 7:11-12 

While that verse is about a harlot woman, the concept of NOT staying at home and getting into sin trouble still applies does it not?

Not only is she then confused and weakened in her faith by being out there seeking fellowship which turns out most often unbiblical, she has shown great confusion and double mindedness to her husband or children and that can make them stumble as well. If only she would do what God's Word says. Stay in her home (Titus 2:5)  focus on her own studies, duties (husband and children) and aim to win or influence her husband without a Word via living out the biblical life obediently. The truth is, the more she tries to usurp his role the LESS he wants to step up and take it. She could be interferring with God who may be working in him. Is this all hard on a woman? Yes but one of the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5 is PATIENCE and this we all need more of vs doing it our own way in haste. 
Homes and faith are not built in this way but torn down!

2) Heresy and spiritual harlotry are the result in the home.

*As we said, another issue we often see as the result of a woman not staying in her home but out there seeking others in the faith is  the fate of Eve in the garden. She easily gets deceived into false religion and it enters the home itself. Heresy and spiritual harlotry are when we claim Christ as our groom but we keep false ways and God truly hates this! ( He called Israel out of this over and over!!! )

The woman we spoke to, admitted after we talked, that she was more confused after all of her outside spiritual relationships. She also said the false teachers had caused her to sin, stolen her peace and freedom in Christ via man made ways and it was all making her life, faith and marriage worse NOT any better. All of this happened when she decided to leave God's order and go off on her own into spiritual things. God's Word warns about this issues and we need to be hating error and NOT going off into false ways as it can have dangerous results. 

Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.
Psalm 119:104


But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction. And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.
 2 Peter 2

As I said there are many more issues at play but the main thrust of this article is to encourage women to study the Word to be approved (2 Timothy 2:15) and follow the order of God allowing the men to lead and still trusting in God when they are sluggards and do not lead. If the man is ever to be the spiritual head and leader of the home in line with God's Word then the wife needs also to be in line with the Word. Her place is in the home not out and about looking for fellowship but finding mostly error and heresy in these last days of apostasy. 

We encourage women to be obedient to the Word of God and not be led astray by their flesh that desires fellowship. It never ends well when you go around the Word and try things your own way.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22

Of course, we also counsel the men to love their wives and to be the leaders God has called them to be in the home or it may well be torn down! 


Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Ephesians 5:26-28

Perhaps if more men were strong biblical leaders the women would not be put in the place to go out seeking what ends up tearing down their homes. 
Still both are to blame if these unbiblical ways happen within the home but the man is held responsible in the end. 

This age old scripture verse below tells a story when women (also children leading adults around ) take the led over men. We see it as  sin / feminism and it is a cancer in the land today!

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
Isaiah 3:12

Please reject these ill ways, obey His Word ( Hebrews 5:9 ) kill your flesh and serve God in spirit and truth John 4:24 or your standing before God is in great danger. Stop tearing down your homes and faith but work to build them up rooted in Christ and His Holy Word  and Ways alone. 

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